“You’re almost there!” And other dumb s#&% people say

tj boston

Last week, two of my friends ran the Boston Marathon. There are many levels of awesome on which these two reside, but Stephen Colbert pretty much sums it up:

“People who run 26 miles on their day off until their nipples are raw…for fun.”

The hubby in this dynamic duo is one of those REALLY crazy people who keeps up a less-than-7-minute-per-mile pace. 26.2 times. In a row. You’d think he could run these things in his sleep, but he says it’s a huge help to have friends and family cheer him on.

However: “You’re almost there!” Not helpful.

I’m starting to get it now. While dying in my Cardio Sculpt class yesterday doing fire hydrant leg lifts that I haven’t done since I owned Billy Blanks on VHS, the instructor uttered these words. When we weren’t finished .03 seconds later, I thought, “Well, our definition of almost is clearly different.”

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When L was a colicky newborn, my “You’re almost there” pet peeve phrase was “It gets so much better!” Really? When? Tomorrow?? Three weeks from now?!? Give me an exact time, date, location, and what I’ll be wearing when that happens.

I didn’t like that people glossed over this rough patch. All I wanted was for them to listen, say “that sucks,” and give me a pat on the back. Ok, that’s a lie. I wanted someone to fix this baby!! 

Don’t tell me I’m almost there when I have 4, 3, or even .2 miles left. If you don’t know the finite amount, then just…Encourage. Validate. Cheer.

“Dig deep. Keep it up. You got this!”

What are your pet peeve phrases?

Stay social, mom friends.

P

28 thoughts on ““You’re almost there!” And other dumb s#&% people say

  1. . A pet peeve phrase of mine is “Everything happens for a reason” I dont want to hear that when something bad happens, I much rather hear that “Im sorry, that friggin sucks” Im usually too upset to want to hear that this bad thing just happened to me for a reason!

  2. I find myself saying this to other parents: “oh the first 6 weeks are so hard and then it get better”, projecting the fact that the first 6 weeks was a tough stretch for MY newborn. Some people have it pretty easy out of the gates, and the ones who don’t aren’t looking to hear how my first month went. Good advice and good job on these blogs. Your blog is going to be popular someday. You’re almost there!

  3. I’m with you and the “It gets better” phrase. Having a 2 month old who wakes up 3 times during the night, I’m constantly hearing that phrase. I know it will probably get better, but it would be totally acceptable for other moms to just say “Yeah, that sucks”!

  4. You look tired never goes over well….”I am tired, but thanks for letting me know I look like crap today!!!”

  5. I’ve realized that sometimes I’m not always looking for a solution to the problem…I just want someone to listen and understand. My hubby is a man who loves nothing more than solving problems….(whether it be software, business, or just general life stuff), so you can see how I run into this situation often. 🙂

  6. My latest favorite is in reference to my non-walking 17 month old – I hate hearing, “oh, but it’s so much harder once they are walking”. Seriously? By that logic, I should really be upset that my 4.5 walks and is so independent. I hate that I don’t have to carry her all over anymore….much harder.

    • Thanks for reading! Your comment, like Aaron’s, reflects the fact that different people think different stages are harder than others. But I agree with you: never did I know how dirty my floors were than the months in L’s life when he was crawling…

  7. Now let me ask the counterpoint, what if someone told you, “well, it could be worse”? Is that more, less or equally as annoying/cliche/unhelpful as “it gets better”? What if someone pointed out what you so aptly said in your last post, that a little perspective goes a long way? Ie twins crying, a very sick child etc. not trying to be a downer, just curious how that comment would be received.

    • Thanks for commenting, Lauren. “It could be worse” is just like it says: worse. You’re right in saying that if you take a perspective check, you should feel lucky you have someone to talk to at all! But I think the issue here is that people want to be listened to first and fixed later.

  8. Love this. One of my pet peeve phrases is “all kids do that” when talking about my son (who is on the autism spectrum). Really? All kids gag and throw up when you brush their teeth? I’m pretty sure that’s not true and plus you’re not making me feel better. Just say “aw that sucks.” and pat me on the back (like you said). And hahah to your definition of almost being different. Smiling.

  9. As a mom of a 3 week old, “having a baby changes everything” comes to mind. One, because it’s the biggest no-brainer of a comment ever. And two., because “change” doesn’t come close to describing the emotional s—show you’re about to go through and makes you feel crazy when it does hit. THEN all the other moms say it happened to them…warning would have been nice, people…

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